Learning to Let Go
by Gingerandgreen
Summary: An entry into the Spanking the Monkey! contest - Edward, Bella and friends are freshmen in college and learning about all the ups and downs  and rounds and rounds  that go with the territory.


Contest entry for Spanking the Monkey! For additional contest entries, please visit: .net/~spankthemonkey4u

Title: **Learning to Let Go**

Name: **Gingerandgreen**

Pairing: **Edward and Bella**

Rating: **M**

Disclaimer: **Twilight ****charac****ters belong solely to Stephenie Meyer****.**** Mistakes belong solely to Gingerandgreen, but there would be many more of them without the ****fair red pen of the kind and patient Perry Maxwell.**

* * *

><p><strong>Learning to Let Go<strong>

Bella inspected the detachable showerhead closely. The holes in the rounded head were a little blocked with lime-scale, and the adjustable section wasn't as adjustable as it had been six months ago. She wondered what the hell she was supposed to do with it.

It wasn't sexy, or even vaguely phallic. When she joked with Angela earlier in the day about the fastest way to get off, she'd pretended to know exactly what she was talking about.

Bella suspected Angela wasn't as knowledgeable as she claimed either.

After making sure the temperature and strength of the water was to her liking, Bella aimed the showerhead between her legs, directing the flow at her vagina. Other than the pressure of the pulsating water, she felt nothing. She gave it a few minutes, and even tried angling the flow differently, but still nothing. With a resigned sigh, she shut off the water. Her attempt at a magical orgasm wasn't going to work. Damn it!

Stupid goddamn psychology department.

* * *

><p>Eric had barely stopped wanking in time to get to psychology class that morning, but for once, he was mightily pleased he had.<p>

Finally, a topic he could excel in.

There was nothing about self-pleasure that Eric hadn't studied extensively.

He hurried back to his dorm room, stopping very briefly in the canteen to grab a sandwich. He was going to need his strength while he contemplated how to answer the essay question.

Opening what he referred to as his 'spank' drawer, he reviewed the meticulously arranged contents. When he had mentioned on his accommodation application that he had mild OCD tendencies, he didn't go into detail about the nature of his deepest obsession for fear of finding himself all alone. He needed quite a lot of time alone, to be fair; but he didn't want to come across as a complete social pariah. He wanted a roommate. Edward was kind of perfect, as it turned out.

Selecting a warming, cinnamon-scented lubricant, a pair of girl's silk panties (size large) and some diamanté nipple clamps, he flipped the lock on the door and settled down to an afternoon of guilt-free homework.

This was exactly why Eric attended college - for the freedom to be himself.

* * *

><p>Edward was really fucking pissed off. He thought the psychology lecturer was a fucking moron. The essay topic the non-tenured, middle-aged asshole set the freshman class was bad enough: <em>Masturbation as an essential response to college living conditions – discuss, drawing from your first-hand experience.<em>

What was worse was the way he had required the students to begin discussing their '_first-__hand experience_' right there and then in class.

What pissed Edward off the most, though, was the way the self-obsessed lecturer picked on the shyest, quietest, most easily embarrassed students in his class. Edward himself would have happily come up with some snappy answers to his teacher's stupid questions. He wasn't able to get a word in edgewise – Banner knew that Edward Cullen was not so easily intimidated.

And he'd never get back into his room now – he'd seen the look of glee on his roommate's face. Jesus fucking Christ, the boy was a wanker. Wait, that was exactly what he was – surely his mind could come up with a more derogatory description of the monkey-spanking-dick-twat-face arsehole he was forced to share breathing space with?

Every fucking night, and every fucking morning. And most afternoons too.

Edward didn't think he could take much more of it.

And, Jesus, that poor girl sitting near the front, the primary victim of the fuckwit lecturer. Anyone could see that she would rather pull out her own fingernails than answer his questions in class. Edward had never seen anyone turn so red. And just seconds before, her skin had been pale and beautiful, almost luminous. Her whole body had an aura of innocent luminosity. Edward had noticed. Fucking Banner.

Edward slammed his bag back onto his shoulder, and stomped out of the canteen, heading for the library. He'd find a way to show that bastard up. Teach him to mess with a sweet looking girl like that.

* * *

><p>Bella decided that the only way she was going to get through this was to ask Alice for help.<p>

They were in their pyjamas, ready for bed. She made them both hot chocolate, although the weather wasn't quite cold enough to warrant it. They laid in their beds, snuggled up under duvets, propped up against cushions, reading their textbooks. Bella's psychology tome felt heavy and sweaty in her hands.

"Alice."

"Uh huh." Alice wasn't really listening. Her nose was buried in her chemistry book, but her mind was on the boy who sat next to her in class today. _Jasper. What a name. Maybe he'd change it for her. She couldn't quite imagine yelling it in the throes of passion..._

"Alice, are you listening? I really need your help here."

"Oh, sorry, Bella. What did you say?"

"Will you help me with my psychology essay?"

"I don't take psychology, Bella." _Mmm, maybe he'd let her call him Zach. Or Toby. She could totally get into someone called Toby.._.

"Alice, I have to write an essay about masturbation, and I don't know the first thing about it!"

"Jesus, Bells, what's there to know? Seriously? Masturbation?"

Bella felt slightly sick. This was the second time today she had felt this humiliated, and she knew it was pathetic.

"Look, Alice, I've never done it before. I don't want to write a whole essay on something everyone else knows all about and be the only one to show my complete, moronic innocence. Please help me; I'm dying here."

Alice sat up and turned to stare at her best friend and roommate. She couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. Bella never got herself off before? Was that even possible?

"Oh my god, Bella, do you want me to tell you how to do it?"

Bella threw the duvet over her head. This was excruciating. But she knew she wasn't going to get anywhere without some help.

"Please Alice."

"Okay, Hun. I'll do it. Let's do it together. This could be fun. Stay under the duvet; I'll get the lights. Then let's get naked."

It was Bella's turn to ask, "Are you serious?"

* * *

><p>There was another girl from his psychology lecture in the library. Edward thought he recognised her as the one who sat next to the girl who'd been embarrassed in class, the one with really pretty hair and lovely skin.<p>

This girl was okay looking, nothing to write home about. She was searching for a book in the same section that Edward wanted to look in.

"Excuse me, can I look too, or is this section reserved?" Even in a foul mood, Edward could put on the charm. He softened his words with a smile and a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, sorry. Edward, right? I'm Angela. I take psychology class with you. And Bio-Chem."

"Hi, Angela. It's good to meet you." He hadn't realised she was in Bio-Chem. That was a much smaller class too. No wonder she knew his name.

"Are you looking for something for that dumb psych essay?"

"Yeah. That guy is such a prick, if you don't mind my saying so." She looked like a girl who never swore. He didn't want to offend her.

She laughed. "That's okay. That's what Bella and I call him every week."

"Oh? Bella, she's your friend, right? The one who sits next to you?" Angela wondered whom he noticed, herself or Bella. Probably Bella. All the guys went for Bella first. They tried Angela when her friend wouldn't give them the time of day. Angela knew Bella would make an exception for Edward though. He was dreamy. They both thought so.

"Yeah. Mr Prick-face was such a bastard to her today. I was trying to come up with something really clever to put in my essay that would make him look like a tool. I know there must be something. I can't let him get away with it, you know?"

"Huh. Great minds think alike, Angela. I came here for the exact same reason. Want to work together?"

* * *

><p>"Okay, Bella, are you naked?" Alice was excited about doing this together. Not together-together, just at the same time. It was kind of hot though.<p>

"Are you?"

"Yes!"

"Alright, I am too. Now what?"

"Now we have to get turned on. Who do you like?"

"Who do _you_ like?"

"Oh jeeze, Bells, are you going to do this every time I say anything? Okay, there's this guy I fancy, only I don't like his name, so I'm gonna call him Zeb."

"Zeb? What kind of name is that?"

"It's short for Zebedee. You know, from the Magic Roundabout? He was so hot."

"The magic what? Alice, have you taken something?"

"What? No! Okay, anyway, Zeb is really sexy. He has longish, blond hair and blue eyes, and he wears cowboy boots and fitted jeans and band shirts that show off his biceps, and he has a Canadian accent, which is just to die for. And he smells so good; I think he wears cologne or something. It makes me melt, right down here."

Bella thought she knew where Alice melted.

"There is this guy I like."

"Oh good, 'cause, you know, I was starting to wonder whether you were into Angela, and she's not into you. Not that way."

"No! No, I like guys. I just never met anyone I _really_ liked before."

"Tell me. What's his name?"

"Edward."

"Edward? Huh. Sweet. That kind of suits you, you know. Sort of old fashioned. Or you could call him Ed. Or Eddie. Or how about Harry? Prince Harry is kinda cute..."

"Alice? Is this part of the, er, thing?"

"Oh, sorry, I'm going off topic. I just think names are so important. Anyway, what does Prince Edward look like?"

"He has these hands, with incredibly long fingers. They look so strong, but he seems so gentle with them, you know?"

"Ah ha! Hands it is! Okay, listen up, Bella. I'm going to describe where those hands are gonna go, and while you listen, you're gonna make your hands do what I say. Got it?"

* * *

><p>"Ah ha! I've got it." Edward fist pumped the air with excitement.<p>

"What? What is it?"

"It's a study from 1997 which hypothesises that students and staff from the Engineering faculty spend more time wanking than anyone else."

"Okay, first, wise guy, I don't believe you; and second, how does that help?" Angela had a bad habit of scrunching her face up when she was confused. Edward found it disconcerting.

"Look, right here – okay, it doesn't say wanking, it says masturbation. But the point is, their hypothesis was proved incorrect."

"Really? Because I always thought engineers were into the whole self love thing."

"Well, Angela, that just goes to prove how wrong you are. Guess which faculty spent the most time polishing the family jewels?"

Angela's eyes were shining. "Psychology?"

"You bet. And guess who was in that psychology department in 1997?"

"Mr Prick-face?"

"Yep. Now we just have to write the revenge essay, citing the evidence. Something along the lines of '_For most people, choking the chicken is a mere recreational device to stave off boredom or rare sexual frustration. For others, in particular those with a very high interest in psychology, including lecturers who really ought to be professors with tenure by now, jerking the gherkin is a prerequisite for a satisfying sex life_.' How's that sound?"

"Perfect," said Angela. Then she thought, _just like you are_.

* * *

><p>"First of all, your perfect Eddie-boy is going to stroke your lips with his fingertips, real slow. Are you doing it?"<p>

"Are you going to ask me if I'm 'doing it' every time you take a breath?" Bella giggled.

"No! Shut up. Okay, then he's going to slide those sexy fingers gently in and out of your mouth."

"Mmm. Go on."

"Can't, I've got my mouth full."

Bella choked slightly on her own two fingers as she laughed. "What's next?"

"He's going to slide his fingers out of your mouth, down the sensitive side of your neck and slowly over your collarbone."

"Yeah."

"He'll stroke your collarbone backwards and forwards, all the while staring in fascination at your luscious bod."

"Alice! Bod? And how do you know my '_bod_' is luscious? When have _you_ seen it?"

"Sugar, you might be hidden by your duvet right now, but trust me, I've seen your body, and it is lush. Now hush up and listen."

Bella squirmed deeper under her covers. She knew her roommate was into boys, but felt a little uncomfortable with the idea that Alice had scrutinised her own 'assets'. She shook the idea out of her head and tried to relax.

Alice began again, her voice a little huskier. "Okay, he's gonna love your breasts, all soft and round, with little rosy nipples. His fingers are gonna stroke slowly from one breast to the other, backwards and forwards. Then he's gonna suck his own fingers a little, so they're wet, and trace around each nipple. And again – a suck on the fingers, and trace around each nipple."

"Mmm. That's good."

"You like that? Now he's gonna change the pace. He's gonna use both hands, and he's gonna gently pinch each nipple between his fingers. Yeah, a little harder now. And roll them a bit. And pull. And pinch again, harder. Now cup your breasts, and squeeze."

"Isn't Edward going to cup them and squeeze?"

"Oh yes, Bella. Yes he is. You can count on it."

"Oh. Mmm. Are we, uh, are we going to go any lower?"

"Please, Bella, we just got started. Right, he's gonna slide both his palms down your belly, slowly, slowly, slowly, down your hips and over your inner thighs. And slide them back up again – and down. This time, he's gonna part your legs, Bella, leaving them wide open."

"Whew, Alice, it's getting quite hot in here, shall I ..."

"Shh! You're interrupting my flow! Okay, are your legs open?"

"Please don't ask me."

"Well, mine are. Ready and waiting. Okay, he's gonna take two of those gorgeous long fingers, and slide them up and down your wet slit."

"Eek!"

"Did you just squeak, Bella?"

"No!" She had, but it was an accident. Bella vowed to shut up from here on in.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Edward, shall we go and show Bella what we found?"<p>

Edward thought about it for about twenty seconds. On the one hand, he had the prospect of returning to his obscene, sausage stroking roommate; on the other, an evening spent with a beautiful girl, well, girls, plotting against the person he currently despised most. The decision was easy.

"Yeah, let's do that," he said, grinning. His mood had lifted considerably.

"This way." 

* * *

><p>"Are you wet?"<p>

Bella kept her lips tightly closed.

"Okay, I'm guessing from the heavy breathing that you are. Don't worry, I'm soaked. This is hot!"

Bella tried to stop breathing, but it wasn't really going to work.

"Just stroke that wetness around everywhere. Doesn't it feel silky and nice? Can you find your clit? One deep breath for yes. Great! Right, Edward, Prince of fingers, is gonna rub all that good wetness around and around your clit. Oh, just like that. Uh."

There was a pause. Bella was too caught up to notice.

"Bella, are you ready to slip some fingers inside? Keep one hand gently working around that clit, and push a couple of Eddie's fingers inside of you. In and out. Mmm. And again. MMM. I'm gonna come soon, Bella. Can you feel that? Oh, that feels good. Oh, yes. AH!"

Bella couldn't help being turned on by the noises Alice was making. She felt incredibly excited, as though a storm was building inside of her. She didn't know what to do though. Her fingers were slipping in and out and around; she was feeling the heat and the build up, but was lost about what to do next.

"Alice! Alice, what do I do?" she groaned.

"You have to let go, Bella. Imagine you are a balloon seller, holding a huge bunch of balloons in the wind. Can you feel how strong the storm is, Bells?"

"It's strong, it's strong!"

"Okay, let go of the balloons, girl. Let them fly away. That's it, let go of that great big bunch of balloons!"

"Oh. My. God. Oh!"

"Did you let go of the balloons?"

"Yes, Alice, I let go of the fucking balloons!"

"You swore! Go, girl! Good on ya. How hot are we?"

"Did you just hear a knock at the door?" 

* * *

><p>Edward and Angela stood listening and laughing outside Bella and Alice's door. They heard about the balloons, but they had no idea what was going on inside. Angela knocked, waited a beat, then knocked again before turning the handle.<p>

"Hey you guys, you'll never guess what Edward and I found at the library!" 

* * *

><p>A little later, Edward arrived back at his room to find Eric sprawled over his bed, fast asleep. He was wearing a red satin thong and nothing else. Edward was just grateful he was asleep. He grabbed his wash bag and headed for the showers.<p>

He pushed the adjustable showerhead up as high as it could go to accommodate his height, and wrenched the nozzle to a low pressure setting in the hope the hot water would last longer. Stripped, he ducked into the stall, immediately taking hold of his hard cock.

Edward's mind replayed walking in to Bella and Alice's room.

The smell that hit him when he and Angela burst through the door had been indescribable. He wished he could bottle it. He could make a fortune selling it amongst the psychology faculty alone.

The girls had lain there, stunned, with their duvets pulled up tight to their chins, while he and Angela stood awkwardly, trying to pretend nonchalance. No one in that room was going to admit to what had clearly been going on just moments before.

In the shower, Edward gripped and pulled at himself harder.

Letting go of balloons. He was never going to look at another balloon seller the same way again. He stroked himself faster, back and forth, slippery with shower gel, as he recalled what he had seen and heard. 

* * *

><p>Alice had burst Angela and Edward's bubble when they explained their 'devious' plan to get back at the psycho lecturer.<p>

"What, wank-bot Banner? My brother, Emmett, warned me about him. Is he still pulling his embarrassment stunt?" Alice had recovered quickly from the intrusion, and was already in full flow.

"His flogging the Bishop stunt, you mean?" asked Angela, cheekily miming the act.

"Flogging the what? That's a new one! Why d'ya call it the Bishop? D'ya have a religious attach..."

"ALICE!" A chorus from the two girls shut her up.

"Sorry! Sorry! Okay, look, what Emmett told me is that every year, Banner does a series of lectures on emotional reactions, starting with embarrassment. Are you following?"

"So, you're saying he doesn't give a flying monkey about masturbation; he just wants us all hot under the collar?" Edward knew the fucking guy wasn't on the level.

"Yep! You hit the nail on the head," said Alice.

A strangled, choking noise was coming from under Bella's duvet.

Edward was concerned. He sat down on the end of her bed and tried to peak underneath her covers. "Bella? Are you okay?" He used his softest, gentlest tone. She was gripping that bed cover fiercely.

He felt incredibly protective towards her for some reason. He wanted her to know he cared.

"Bella? Look at me, Sweetie. We'll still get that toast slapper back."

"Toast slapper?" Bella giggled, and loosened her grip a tiny bit. Edward wanted to see her face. He playfully lifted the bottom of the duvet and stuck his head underneath.

Even in the dim shadows, it was the best fucking sight he'd ever seen in his entire life. All quarter of a second of it was imprinted on his brain.

"Ah, fuck. So, I'm going to head off now. Got to hit the showers before – er. So. Yeah." He leapt to his feet. Started backing out of the girl's bedroom door. Saw the scrunched up look of consternation on Angela's face, and pulled himself together, briefly.

"So, er, Bella? Before I go, I was wondering, do you want to get coffee some time? Or something? Plot revenge?"

Bella's eyes emerged from her bed covers. Framed by wild hair, they looked dark and primal.

"You want to go out with me?"

Edward rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. He'd already had his lesson in embarrassment.

"Yeah."

"Okay."

She'd agreed. Fuck, yes. Edward's grin almost split his face.

"Cool. I'll – er – I'll catch you in psych class. Really gotta run now." He whirled and was out the door and well on his way down the corridor when he heard laughter ring out from the room he just vacated. 

* * *

><p>Edward knew from experience that he only had a few minutes of hot water left in his shower. He replayed the sight of under-the-duvet Bella – better by far than sat-at-the-front-of-psych-class Bella – over and over in his mind's eye.<p>

A tiny, cynical corner of his brain wondered how many other instances of masturbation had been triggered by one dumb lecturer. It wasn't enough to stop his own storm from building though.

Seconds later, he let go of an enormous bunch of balloons.

Best goddamn shower he'd ever had. 

* * *

><p><strong>AN Thank you for reading this little piece of sillyness. Really looking forward to hearing what you think!**


End file.
